Introducing: “Porn Blanket” (and Charlotte the cat)



Everyone in this house loves “porn blanket.”  Everyone except for me, it seems.

In December, my partner came to me and asked me if we needed anything.  His parents had just asked him what we wanted for Christmas, so I proposed that he ask them for a new comforter for our bed.  We certainly did need one–the other two we have on hand have been washed and rewashed repeatedly over several years to address the mess that generally accumulates after weeks of multi-cat naps.  He asked me what we wanted–I suggested a king-size comforter, which would be a little bigger than our bed, and it certainly needed to be machine washable. Then, I left him to his own devices.

He talked to his parents after he identified a comforter that he liked online.  A week later, a big box arrived at the house.  He wasn’t home, so I opened it up.  And, then, I called my partner on the phone.

Me: “What is with this comforter?  I’m not sure this is what you ordered.”

Him: “Why, what’s wrong with it?”

The comforter was reversible. One side was covered in a brown, velvet material, and the other, as you can see above, was white and contoured like a shag carpet.  

Me: “It looks like a bed covering from a 1970s porn film.”

Thus, the nickname “porn blanket” was born.  The comforter was certainly soft and warm, and it covered the bed nicely.  I figured I might as well try it out, and I put it on the bed.  It was an immediate cat magnet–every single cat in the house experimented with it, and it was unanimously cat approved.  My partner was equally thrilled with it.  Thus, I was voted down by the household, cats and hall, and “porn blanket” has graced our bed, and our washing machine, ever since.

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2 thoughts on “Introducing: “Porn Blanket” (and Charlotte the cat)

  1. It looks like an expensive version of the cheapo one hubby got me last Christmas, when I asked for an actual, heavy-as-hell, homemade quilt.
    It’s okay. Too light, and my rough-skinned hands make weird scratchy noises when I try to reclaim it from the cats in the middle of the night. So mine isn’t a porn blanket, more like a page 3 blanket.

    And I can’t leave it on the bed as the damn siamese literally EATS anything made of artificial fiber. Sigh.

    Like

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